In the Stony Brook study from which this question comes, this is classified as one of the deeper level questions. Nobody’s family is perfect but this prompt asks you to reflect very intentionally about what could have (or sometimes SHOULD have) been different. This is a good conversation to have with a close friend because it can remind us that ALL families have their shortcomings. There’s no need to feel ashamed about parts of your own family. You can look back on your experience with a bit more perspective and a bit more compassion.
Source: The question bank from the 1997 landmark study out of SUNY Stony Brook on Interpersonal Closeness (famously discussed in 2015 in the wildly viral New York Times article: “To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This” )
Have you asked this question? How did it go? Do you have advice for how best to ask it? PLEASE RATE! AND WRITE A REVIEW (in the comment box below)!
I’ve actually been asked a similar question in an interview. It was a series of 3 questions. First, “What’s one thing you would change about your dad?” Then, “What’s one thing you’d change about your mom?” Finally, “What’s one thing you’d like to change about yourself?” I thought it was an interesting set of questions & have since used it with other interviewees.