If you find yourself in a disagreement and the words passing between you and the other person sound like they could be on a daytime “news” show, then you’re not actually talking to each other; you’re just waving picket signs in each others faces. The conversation becomes much more real when you are talking about one of four things: 1) personal hopes, 2) personal fears, 3) specific people you know and care about, or 4) what it means TO YOU to be ___________ (American, Christian, pro-choice, a gun owner, etc…). This question will nudge you closer to all 4 of these avenues.

Source: Adapted from Elizabeth Lesser’s TED Talk “Take the Other to lunch”

Have you asked this question? How did it go? Do you have advice for how best to ask it? PLEASE RATE! AND WRITE A REVIEW (in the comment box below)!