Okay, this question isn’t going to make sense unless I explain it. My wife and I were talking with two friends about one of their consistent (but never planned) evening activities: Googling stuff. Rachel said she enjoys learning about things and that she values curiosity. And right there at “curious,” Rachel’s husband, Adam, jumped in and said “You know, if Rachel is describing the characteristics of a person that she likes, nine times out of ten ‘curious’ will be in the list of qualities.” Rachel laughed and agreed. But it was, in a way, news to her. She hadn’t realized that she so often listed “curious” in her high praise for others. I found this super interesting and it kicked off a really intriguing conversation. In turn, Rachel said that Adam describes the people he likes as “the man.” As in “I’d hire Brian – he’s the man!” I immediately chimed in that my wife, Emily, when she’s heaping on praise, will often say that someone is “classy.” This means that they’re the type of person to do things the right way. You know, send a thank-you card or stick around to help clean up after a party. That kind of thing. And apparently when it comes to me, when I get going about someone I like, what often gets mentioned is that “He/she can eat!” This doesn’t necessarily mean that the person eats a lot (though it often does). It means that they enjoy the food, appreciate the details even of extremely simple/cheap recipes, and really get into the act of eating a meal together – storytelling, jokes, connecting in meaningful ways. I never really noticed that but it’s true. So ask your significant other what word/term you use most often to describe the people you like. You’ll learn something about what you instinctually appreciate in others.

Source: My friends Rachel and Adam

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