I have a friend who gets irked if someone guesses correctly that she’s an only child. Is there anything like that for you? Are you miffed if someone is able to key in on something that you’ve not otherwise revealed? “Are you a crossfitter?” “Do you have, like, a tattoo on your foot somewhere?” “It seems like you’d be a vegetarian.” What’s most interesting for me about this question is a follow up question that’s more self-analysis than anything else: Why? Why does it irk you for someone to guess correctly? Continue reading What upsets you when someone guesses it correctly about you? →

This isn’t quite the “What’s the best advice…” question. Instead, I’m interested in what advice has most RECENTLY spared you from a big headache. On a recent road trip, Emily told me “Don’t speed in Virginia because the troopers there are really strict.” We hadn’t been over the VA border for long (cruising 3 miles above the limit) when a cop car raced up behind us with his lights going and promptly pulled around to ticket the car in front of us that was going maybe 10 miles over the limit. Phew!! Without that advice, we would have been that ticketed car, for sure. What advice most recently helped you dodge a bullet? Continue reading What piece of advice has most recently saved you a headache? →

Okay everyone. I’m gonna tell you a very embarrassing story. So on the very first day of 1st Grade, I pooped my pants. This is how it happened: My mom is dropping off my older sister, Jamie, and me right in front of the main entrance to our elementary school. I’ve been acting all cool-guy all morning like 1st Grade is no big deal and I’m gonna handle it just fine – even better than Jamie who’s going into 2nd Grade and has more experience than me. I step out of the car and my mom says, “Have a great first day of school you guys! Love you!” I feel a nervous fart coming on and start letting it out. I swing the door shut and it thuds closed at exactly the moment that the nervous “fart” turns into nervous liquid poop and hits me right in the underwear. Pooped my pants. Not a lot. Not enough to immediately jump back in the car. But definitely enough to know that I need a game plan. I stand there, shocked, considering my options as my mom drives away forever. I turn back to Jamie and I’m so dang cool and ready to tackle 1st Grade that I don’t say anything. Just walk on to my classroom. I spend the first hour sitting with one foot under my butt trying desperately to seal in the smell. The girl next to me asks, “Do you smell poop?” and I say “No! But maybe you stepped in dog poop…” When we’re done with “rug time” and are moving to our desks, I ask to go to the bathroom where I wipe my butt and underwear and pray to God that I’m not found out. If I can JUST make it through this day without becoming the kid who pooped his pants on the first day of school, I’ll live. I contemplate throwing away my underwear but the trash can is just a tiny thing with no lid and filling it up with soiled fruit-of-the-looms seems like a great way to get caught brown-handed so I just decide to ride out my poopy underwear all day. Desk work is okay because there’s more space between us all but “rug time” is the freaking worst. During rug time I sit on one foot, then the other foot, then both feet. But I make it through the day! I make it! And when my mom brings me and Jamie back home that afternoon my first order of business is throwing my underwear away to destroy all the evidence.

That was a rough day for 6-year-old me. But now, if I could be a fly on the wall, I would LOVE to witness that moment in my life. It would be so damn hilarious to watch kid me deal with that pressure!! Plus I’d be a fly! So poop smell all day would be, like, a bonus! Continue reading If you could go back in time and observe any moment in your life as a fly on the wall, what would it be? →

And what was so moving to you about that speaker? Was it the message? The delivery? The particular moment and its context? In an age of ubiquitous TED talks and would-be TED’s that are all just one internet search away from your hand-held consumption, what powerful words have you PHYSICALLY been witness to? It could be a sermon, a conference key-note, a commencement speech, a friend talking about what matters to her… As long as you were there. For me, I remember instantly some of the sermons that Fr. Rick Frechette (founder of NPH-Haiti, the org I volunteered with in ’07, ’08, and 2010) preached right after the devastating 2010 earthquake that hit Port au Prince. In the tiny chapel on the grounds of the pediatric hospital he built, Fr. Rick preached that faith is big. But it’s also small. It’s so small that it’s about just one single person. You. What you do matters. How you reach out matters. How you comfort. How you heal. How you speak to others and how you touch lives matters. It matters more than anything else. Hearing him say that to the Haitians, the foreigners, the doctors, nurses, volunteers, UN personnel, logistics people, and everyone else packed into that tiny stone chapel with the sun coming up over the ruins of Port-au-Prince all around us and the exhausting day ahead of us all… I’ve never heard such conviction. It’s unforgettable. Continue reading Who is the best speaker you’ve ever heard in person? →

This is a question to ask your friends and family. But instead of revealing something about them, the question is designed to teach you something about yourself. I came across this one when working with a life coach in late 2010. In the middle of our meeting, I had to call 5 people in my life right at that moment and ask them, “What shows up when I do? What qualities do I add to a room when I walk in?” Everyday life had never before (and hasn’t since) given me the opportunity to just point-blank ask that of friends and family. The calls lasted no more than 2 minutes each (and I said I’d call back soon for a real conversation) but the answers were intriguing and affirming and have truly stuck with me. When two of my best friends echoed, on separate calls, that I brought consistency of character into a room (meaning that the given crowd or environment didn’t change how I acted/spoke/joked), I took that to heart and doubled down on it. Ever since, I’ve tried very intentionally to bring that quality with me. Give this one a try! It’s a random question for sure… But you can say that you’re doing an internet experiment if that helps! I promise the answers are worth it. Continue reading What shows up when I do? →

And on the other hand, if you could guarantee that they would NOT be like you in one way, what trait of yours would you pick then? I’m at the age now that friends, peers, and work colleagues are starting to have kids all the dang time! Babies everywhere! That’s gotten me thinking more about how parenting happens and what new parents hope to share (and not share) with their children. This has been a really fascinating question to ask. Give it a try! Continue reading If you could guarantee that your kids (and someday their kids) would be exactly like you in one way, what trait of yours would you make sure to pass down? →

Instagram is your life curated. And more often than not, people are curating in order to make their food look amazing, their days seem interesting, their lives appear coherent. Even the “fail” posts on social media are humble-brags (“6am workout this morning was a DISASTER!”) or they’re endearing failures (“Mom’s birthday cake turned into a hot mess #backupplan”). What happened in your life over the past seven days that didn’t make it onto social media? (Because you thought posting it would make people think something about you that you wouldn’t want them to think.) I didn’t watch any sunrises last week. And I didn’t hilariously #epicfail set my kitchen on fire while cooking either. I’ll tell ya this, though. I developed a mystery rash/grouping of bumps on both my forearms. I have no idea if it was from doing yard work or what. Just appeared. Kinda itchy. I hope it goes away soon on its own and doesn’t get grosser. I’m a little embarrassed about it. That’s it. Fire up that new app, Average-gram! Because, all sarcasm aside, I think it would be a lot healthier for all of us to know and see that life for everyone else also is messy and unremarkable and doesn’t make for a good picture or a fun story all the time. What would I see on your honestly behind-the-scenes social media platform of choice? Continue reading If there were an anti-Instagram, what from the last week would appear on your profile? →

The French language famously has no single word for “home.” In Tagalog, the word “gigil” can only be defined in English as the emotion associated with seeing something so cute it makes you want to squeeze the bejeezus out of it. In Portuguese, “cafune” is a verb that means to run your fingers gently through someone’s hair. What precise or complicated thing do you say/do/feel/think often enough to want a single English word for it? For me, I’d love an English verb that means “to consider a possible course of action for longer than it would actually take to simply do it.” Not that I’m ever guilty of that or anything… Continue reading I wish there were an English word for… What? Fill in the blank. →

This is an interesting question because you’re not only thinking about the products or services to which you are very loyal. You’re also thinking about which products and services will even still be around in the very made-up-sounding year of 2046. For me? Costco. I freakin love that place and I hope, Hope, HOPE that we’re all still around in 30 years. On the other hand, there’s Facebook. Am I the only one who would be pretty shocked if Facebook was still a name that we all talked about in 2046? Only time will tell… Continue reading What brand (that you use today) do you think you’ll be using 30 years from now? →

First, tell me about a time it brought you success. And then tell me why you suspect it might be holding you back now. Changing your context can very easily turn a strength into a weakness or limitation. Just ask Michael Jordan. Did you ever catch his 2009 trainwreck of an acceptance speech at the NBA Hall of Fame? Jordan is arguably the most revered athlete on Earth. He was better at basketball than I will probably ever be at anything. He got that way because of his ultra-competitive nature. During his playing days, “ultra-competitive” was a character strength. It’s hard to watch his often petty Hall of Fame speech and say the same thing. Just because it’s always worked, doesn’t mean it always will. Continue reading What rule, way of thinking, or policy has been successful for you in the past but may be limiting you now? →

Okay, if I’m answering this one honestly I’ve got to say it’s probably less than 36 hours. (And the instance I’m thinking of involved a long-haul flight to the Philippines which in itself puts you outside of normal internet access for more than 15 hours.) I’ve gone longer than 36 hours without taking a shower, for sure. Weeks without exercising. Months without reading a work of fiction. But email? I check email — compulsively. Ask this question of your friends until you find someone who’s gone more than 5 days. Talk to that person. Steal some of their wisdom. Become their best friend. Find out how they’ve structured day-to-day life. Clearly they’ve got something going right. Continue reading In the last year, what’s the longest stretch of time you’ve gone without checking email? →