This is a 3-part test that you can use any time you’re debating whether you should bite your tongue or give someone a piece of your mind. Ask these three questions in this order. If what you’re about to say fails one of the tests, there’s no need even to continue on to the next part. A peaceful heart. A clear conscience. A predisposition to kindness. You get a lot from these 3 questions.
Source: Dubiously attributed to lots of sources – Buddha, Rumi, others…
Have you asked this question? How did it go? Do you have advice for how best to ask it? PLEASE RATE! AND WRITE A REVIEW (in the comment box below)!
I have used this question many times to help halt negative self talk, or those snarky conversations we all have in our heads. It’s easy to be blustery at yourself or others over something that is true, but I can usually surrender my angst when I recognize that the issue doesn’t stand up to “Necessary” or “Kind.”
Yes! It’s fascinating how the answers to these three interlocking questions have the potential to say so much about the values of the person answering. How do determine necessity? Whose truth? Is kindness gauged in the intent or the reception? All worth considering on a regular basis.
I would add, “Is it beautiful?”