Your response has to take into account three main things: 1) your personality, 2) the things you like, and 3) your physical appearance. My friend Nancy and her sister often ask this of their friends and social circles. It’s actually an entertaining road-trip type game to figure out the desserts yourself on behalf of all your friends. Or you can ask them directly and see how they self-select. (When I think about myself, have you seen this mesmerizing 5-star chocolate dessert that blooms like a flower to reveal a delicate pastry/fruit/gelato arrangement inside? Yeah, I’m definitely not that. Milkshake maybe?) Continue reading If you were a dessert, what dessert would you be?
When are we getting together next?
Tim Urban over at the Wait Buy Why blog is a hilarious genius. (He’s also rather profane. So click over only if you don’t mind an F-bomb or three.) Tim wrote an absolute mind trip of a post called “Your Life In Weeks.” It’s a visualization of how much time we actually have on the earth to do what we value. And then in an arguably EVEN MORE shocking follow-up post called “The Tail End,” Tim drops some serious truth on us about the difference between life activities that are evenly distributed and those that are not. When it comes to number of winters he has left, Tim has plenty because there’s one every year and there has only ever been one a year. But when it comes to relationships, Tim’s stats tell a very different story:
“When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life. If I lay out the total days I’ll ever spend with each of my parents—assuming I’m as lucky as can be—this becomes starkly clear. It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end. It’s a similar story with my two sisters. After living in a house with them for 10 and 13 years respectively, I now live across the country from both of them and spend maybe 15 days with each of them a year. Hopefully, that leaves us with about 15% of our total hangout time left.”
So, back to the question. “When are we getting together next?” Ask your siblings. Ask your parents. Ask your closest friends. AND THEN PUT SOMETHING ON THE CALENDAR. Otherwise, it just won’t happen. What could be more important? Seriously? Continue reading When are we getting together next?
During the interview process, will candidates have an opportunity to meet the people who would be on their team or would be their supervisor(s)?
If you don’t already have an answer to this one, you absolutely should ask before the handshake. A full-time job is called “full-time” because it’s all the damn time! A majority of your active, waking hours! If at all possible, you should try to meet the people you’ll be working with most closely. Granted, this is more appropriate for certain kinds of work (and less for other kinds) but still try! Continue reading During the interview process, will candidates have an opportunity to meet the people who would be on their team or would be their supervisor(s)?
So, (insert name), what’s your story?
Obviously this is a possibility for your opening question only. The rationale behind this abrupt interview start is that it’s surprising enough and nebulous enough to show you how a potential new hire deals with uncertainty and the unexpected. Richard Funess explains his question best:
“It’s a question that asks for a creative response. It’s an invitation to the candidate to play the game and see where it goes without worrying about the right answer. By playing along, it tells me a lot about the character, imagination, and inventiveness of the person. The question, as obtuse as it might sound to the interviewee, is the beginning of a story, and in today’s world of selling oneself, or one’s company, it’s the ability to tell a story and create a feeling that sells the brand–whether it’s a product or a person. Continue reading So, (insert name), what’s your story?
Is there anything about how your parents raised you that you tried not to repeat when you became a parent?
Insofar as other people are always a bit alien to you (family included — maybe family ESPECIALLY) asking this question sort of turns you into an astronaut exploring a crater on a nearby planet. By walking around in the crater, you learn more about that planet but you also learn more about what OTHER BODY bumped into it right there at that site. I can’t help but see family as exactly that: a bunch of foreign bodies all brought into each other’s orbits, denting one another, shaping one another, launching one another on very particular paths – sometimes intended and sometimes not. Continue reading Is there anything about how your parents raised you that you tried not to repeat when you became a parent?
What 5 people do you spend the most time with?
Blogger / entrepreneur / crazy-person Tim Ferriss famously said in his first book that you are the average of the 5 people you interact with most. (It’s not a perfect thought experiment but I still find it compelling.) If this is true, who am I? Do I like that person? Do I respect that person? Should I be surrounding myself with different colleagues? Different social circles? Sometimes the changes you struggle to make individually in your own life will just happen more naturally when you alter your environment. Anyone who has ever found a morning workout buddy and noticed “Woah! 7am runs are actually happening now!” knows this. Ask this question about the 5 people you interact with most and you’ll be closer to finding your “workout buddy” for eating healthier, or your workout buddy for goal-setting, or your workout buddy for feeling grateful in life. Continue reading What 5 people do you spend the most time with?
Do you ever re-read books? What book have you read the most times?
The first book I ever re-read was The Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. I was maybe 12 years old. I loved that book! About survival, resourcefulness, coming of age… I’d probably start reading it again right now if I had it. If someone invests all the time necessary to re-read a book, that book has gotta say something about them as a person, right? (I don’t know what it would mean exactly. But, something!) Plus, as an English major I just love books and readers and re-readers! 100 bonus points to your date if he/she is a re-reader! Continue reading Do you ever re-read books? What book have you read the most times?
What’s one thing you remember about growing up that you think I probably don’t remember?
Is this just me? Or sometimes do you “remember” something from your childhood and then all of a sudden you’re not 100% sure if it’s actually a memory of something that truly happened or if your kid brain just rolled together a childhood desire, a tv commercial, and a dream from falling asleep on the way home in the back of your Dodge Caravan? I hope it’s not just me! Anyway, this question is fun because comparing memories with your siblings is super fun. Ask away! Continue reading What’s one thing you remember about growing up that you think I probably don’t remember?
I’ve read a bit about [other companies X and Y] but who would you say is your top competitor and why?
As with all the questions you ask an interviewer, this one makes you look good as a candidate while simultaneously giving you useful information about the company. This question makes you look good because you show that you already understand a bit about the company, you’ve done your homework about its competitors, and you’re proactively trying to wrap your head around the industry. The answer you get back is important because you get to see how the current management and leadership team think about their place in the competitive landscape. Continue reading I’ve read a bit about [other companies X and Y] but who would you say is your top competitor and why?
If you could have unlimited free service for 5 years from a chef, housekeeper, masseuse, personal assistant, or chauffeur, which one would you choose?
Have you come across David Foster Wallace’s 2005 commencement speech at Kenyon College? It’s a beautiful thing. It spells out the daily and mundane frustrations that a 21st century college-educated American will encounter in life. And it reminds all of us who are fortunate enough to be in that position that we always have a choice about how we experience the world and how we relate to the people around us. It’s powerful stuff. And perhaps along with Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford (also in 2005 – dang, ’05 was a high-water mark for commencement speeches!), DFW’s speech is one of the few that anyone seems to remember.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah…this question. It reminded me of DFW because it’s essentially a question about daily obligations. Cooking, cleaning, etc. It’s a fun one to ask your friends! (But ask it because you want to have fun with friends, not because you want to fantasize about a life that’s not your life. Your life is precious. Look, both David Foster Wallace and Steve Jobs, who were giving speeches in 2005, are now on the other side. Life is precious! (Dang. Re-reading these speeches put me in a weird head space…)) Continue reading If you could have unlimited free service for 5 years from a chef, housekeeper, masseuse, personal assistant, or chauffeur, which one would you choose?
If you could be in anyone’s group for a group project, whose team would you want to be on? Why?
If your kiddo answers this one with his best friend, feel free to ask again saying, “Okay cool. And how about if you couldn’t be in Mike’s group?” The answers get interesting when, beyond best friends, you start to get a sense of what your kid values in a collaborative exercise. Does he pick someone who is nice and easy to work with? Or the classmate who usually has the right answers? Or someone he wants to get to know better? Does he have different criteria completely? There are tons of good options! So how does he decide? Find out! Continue reading If you could be in anyone’s group for a group project, whose team would you want to be on? Why?
What 3 words would you say represented your approach to parenting and why?
The answers to this question end up being an awesome mix of funny responses and tender ones. My own mom picked the words, “nurturing,” “respect,” and “independence.” A friend’s mom picked the following 3 to describe her parenting philosophy: “I don’t know.” Haha. Parenting must be one of the hardest jobs in the whole world. This question can help you understand your parent(s), understand your upbringing, and give you some ideas (should you be – or become – a parent yourself). Continue reading What 3 words would you say represented your approach to parenting and why?
If there was an award named after you, what would the award be for? And who would you award it to?
Oh man, if our little star rating system had SIX stars, this question, for me, would get all six. You get so much from a response to this. You get to watch someone’s “creativity gears” turn in real time. You find out how self-aware the person is. You learn about her strengths as well as her ability to own them. You’ll inevitably learn a bit about her sense of humor (it’s just that kind of question). You’ll find out about a person in her life whom she respects. And you won’t be bored to death having to ask another interviewee something hackneyed like “What was a challenge you faced in your last job?” This one is a gem! Continue reading If there was an award named after you, what would the award be for? And who would you award it to?
What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
This is a great question. It’s not about one-upmanship; it’s about being sympathetic and hearing out a good story. Life is full of broken bones, cuts, and surprise trips to the emergency room. Let’s talk about how we got into all those messes! This question could be asked of lots of people, but it seems like a great date question in particular. (I don’t always answer the questions myself but I just have to share that one of my best friends and I played a lot of paintball in high school and early college. My best friend’s roommate’s mom’s boyfriend (seriously) tagged along with us one time. We lent him one of our extra paintball guns. Super nice guy. So nice he wanted to help clean the gun at the end of the day when we were all relaxing in the parking lot of the paintball field. We said it was fine, we’d handle it. He kept fiddling, removed safety features, and accidentally shot me RIGHT between the eyes from less than 3 feet. Didn’t lose my eyes but came REAL close. The resulting welt/wound was hideous.) Continue reading What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
In what period since you were a teenager did you have the most personal growth and change?
“If you wanted to have another such period, what could you do to bring it about or otherwise shake up your life?” Two fantastic questions once again from Gregory Stock. There’s an implicit progression here: Step 1. Identify when in your life you’ve MOST developed and grown. Step 2. Figure out what it was about this time that made it so growth-inducing. (Was it the physical setting? The people around you? The responsibilities you signed up for? The daily practices you put in your life?) Step 3. Have the self-knowledge necessary to put yourself back into that place whenever you want it or need it. Continue reading In what period since you were a teenager did you have the most personal growth and change?
What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?
I’m a bit of a junkie when it comes to reading about productivity, personal development, forming habits, etc. To wildly varying degrees of success, I’m always trying to further develop my strengths or shore up weaknesses or start new good habits. But after a point, the most helpful thing to do is just to know yourself enough to understand that some “bad” habits are probably going to stick because…they just are. As long as it’s nothing insane, I say maybe don’t worry so much about it. I’m going to stay up too late. On weekends, I’m going to wake up too late as well. Every third roadtrip or so, I’m going to cave and eat twenty chicken mcnuggets. Nuggets!!!! Mmmm bbq sauce, sweet chili. (Sorry, not sorry.) My friends need to know that about me. Continue reading What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?
What was the best gift you remember receiving as a child?
It wasn’t a Playstation. And it probably wasn’t even close to the cost of one. I love this question. It’s a lesson in how to get maximum joy from minimal expenditure. (Fun fact: In 1950, 1 dollar could get you what $10.02 can get you today.) Continue reading What was the best gift you remember receiving as a child?
What is the one thing people always assume about you?
You know there’s that thing people have been telling you for about as long as you can remember. “At first I thought you were really serious.” (I get that one a lot.) Or “No way you’re 33, I thought you were like 15 years old.” (My older sister gets that one all the time – chalk it up to being Filipina and 5’2″.) “So do you surf?” (My friend who grew up on Maui hears this one often. He doesn’t surf.) People are eager to dispel the common misconceptions about themselves. That’s what makes this a great date question. It gets you past the surface level and allows you to start relating to the other person in a more complete way. Continue reading What is the one thing people always assume about you?
What would you most like to learn by working with [Company] that would help you in the future?
Few things are as disruptive to a team as having someone join the company in a full-time position only to move on 3 months later. If someone is learning at work then they’re much more likely to stick around. That’s why this is such a great interview question. Use it to double-check that your job description and the day-to-day realities line up well with how the new hire wants to grow professionally. Alignment here can help you find the perfect candidate and keep you from having to hire again for the same position just a few months down the road. Continue reading What would you most like to learn by working with [Company] that would help you in the future?
Which class are you learning the most in so far?
Even if your teenager feels like he hasn’t learned much at all during the school year, one of his classes has probably taught him more than the others. Find out which one it is. And if this first question goes well, you can naturally follow up with: “Which class are you learning the least in?” But it’s best to start with the positive version first. If asked first (or alone) the negative version of this question sounds like you’re teeing up a pep talk or something judge-y. Continue reading Which class are you learning the most in so far?