My friend JB could be a professional friend. Truly. He’s in the major leagues of friendship. He calls every couple of weeks just to catch up. Odds are he’s the one to initiate the email thread to get people together for a reunion. He remember birthdays. He recommends books. If he sees an article or video online that aligns with your interests, he’ll forward it to you or tag you in a post. He comes to visit you where you are — uses vacation days for it and everything. He just prioritizes you as a friend, even with everything else going on in life and the world. And he’s joyful to see you. It’s deeply inspiring. I try to emulate him. It’s my theory that the JB’s of the world are the “friendship glue” that hold larger networks of friends together. Without them, the individuals in any given friend crew would not be as close with all the others. Agree or disagree? Is this a gender thing? Do you know someone who serves this role? Continue reading When it comes to the actual skillset of being a friend, who of your friends is the best? →

Alright. So personally, I’m not that into wine or beer so those kinds of tastings don’t really appeal to me. I’ve never liked cheese and I’m pretty lactose intolerant so cheese tastings are not my thing either. Coffee is nice but I’m not discerning enough of a coffee drinker to get much out of sampling lots of variations of that… But if ANYONE ANYWHERE put together a “tasting” of gummy candies, I would be all over that mess!! All over it. It would be like, “And these Haribo fizz bears are available only in Germany. You’ll notice how different the consistency is from the Lychee jelly rounds we just tried from Japan.” Oh man, I wish that were a thing!!! What would your “tasting” be? Continue reading If you could go to a fancy “tasting” of any kind of food or drink, what kind of tasting would it be? →

This is an awesome question because all the answers involve funny stories. And every single one of those stories is like a feel-good movie with one of the main characters making a 180-degree change for the better. You know the ending will be happy because, well, you know the 2 people ended up being close friends at the end of the day. Continue reading Of all your close friends, who made the worst first impression on you? →

In college I studied abroad for a semester in France. I was waiting for a bus in Toulouse, where I lived, and there was a very little boy – maybe 3 years old – who was also waiting at the stop with his mom. This little boy was completely in his own world, jumping up and spinning in the air and almost doing a full 360. He’d look at one foot while he spun. Then he’d look at the other. Then he’d spin again while looking at one hand held out in front of himself. It was joyful. He wasn’t laughing or even smiling; it was a serious thing he was doing apparently. But it was joyful. At his age, he was still learning and marveling at the sacred machinery of his own limbs. And I just thought to myself, “Dang, little boy. You’re right. It’s a beautiful thing to have our bodies.” Where have you found wisdom in a young soul? Continue reading Who is the youngest person that’s taught you something you’ve never forgotten? →

There are multi-millionaires who feel like they can barely scrape by in life. They’re stressed and anxious about money. If you asked them if they’re rich, they would say absolutely not. This fact is important to remember.

I am definitely not a millionaire but I’ve gotta tell you this: My wife and I were driving home from Trader Joe’s the other weekend and we’d spent exactly $51.92. In the car with us we had red lentils, ricotta cheese, light champagne salad dressing, whole garlic, pizza dough (2 of them), pork potstickers, handmade tortillas, fresh Serrano salsa, pie crusts, lemons, extra large red bell peppers, a bottle of red wine… the list goes on. And man, I just felt – like – a – king. I did. I felt rich. And since then, I’ve noticed that bringing awesome ingredients home to cook up at our house does it for me every time. You’re not rich unless you feel rich. What does it for you? Continue reading What makes you feel rich? →

I’m a fairly strong proponent of not taking yourself too seriously. I think we all need to be able to laugh at ourselves and the imperfections in our institutions. (I think this kind of laughing is closely related to humility.) But some things should be sacred, right? Off limits? I have to be honest, I struggled to answer this question for myself. After a good long think, I could say I’ve never poked fun at either of my grandmothers. And I doubt that I’d tolerate someone else (my own parents, aunts, and uncles excepted) having a laugh at my grandmothers’ expense. They are the matriarchs of both sides of my family. Institutions. (I never really knew either of my grandfathers. Both had passed by the time I was 5 years old.) My mom’s mom turned 90 this past year. My dad’s mom is well into her 80’s. They are sacred women to me. Certainly. Ask your friends this question. In the age of South Park and SNL it’s interesting to know what is sacred in your social circles. Continue reading What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? →

I love the 180 that happens within this very short question. Asking it shows you something about your friend’s perspective, resilience, and sense of gratitude. I’ve put this question in the “Ask your friend” category but you could ask it of literally anyone and get an interesting response.

As an aside, this question reminds me of 2 things. That 17th century haiku that goes:

Barn’s burnt down —
now
I can see the moon.

And also one of my favorite TED talks of all time about humanity’s “psychological immune system” and what actually makes people happy. Continue reading What mistake in your life are you most grateful for? →